A long time ago, in a place far, far away, movies could be viewed for $1. ONE measly dollar. That place was East Windsor, NJ, and the time was the mid-nineties. To be fair, the movies were second-run, and the price quickly rose as high as $3. Still, they were generally decent quality flicks and the price was right.

Not too many years later, a student ticket to a movie at AMC Hamilton was just $5 for a first-run film. Again, this rose, and is now at (I believe $6.50). And again, it's still far less than a standard price. In Boston and the Boston area, there are no student discounts to be had, because everyone is a student. Tickets are $8.75-$9.50, a truly outlandish sum. Actual customer numbers are falling even as box office numbers set new highs each year, and it's because the new night at the movies is a horrendous customer experience.

I've bitched about all this previously, and I'm sure some people have heard it from me before. But if this site is about two things, it's about 1) you laughing at my own personal catharsis and 2) me proving you don't need to be old to be crotchety. Anyhow, I've recently gotten fed up with the whole damned system, especially Loews Theatres. Loews is definitely the worst in my eyes and so I sent off a letter to them, detailing their transgressions. You can read it below, but it's largely the same things I've griped about for a long while now.

I didn't really expect a response at all, but a couple days later I got one. A summary of the response follows, or you can read the whole thing.

Basically, it says:
1) We have no choice but to show commercials, or prices would be even higher.
2) Actors make millions, and we have to pay for this.
3) Our despicable pre-show ads are carefully chosen!
4) There is no rewards programs from Loews, unless you live in Michigan.
5) There are no student discounts, unless you pay for a Student Advantage membership.
6) I'll pass this riiiiight along to the people upstairs.

The most obvious thing to me is that he's got no numbers to back anything up (and the seeming shock that I didn't enjoy the ads that they provided - who would imagine?). "Oh, it costs millions to make a movie, and we bear that cost burden!", I'm told. I want to see the numbers! So here's another letter, this time an open one:

An Open Letter To The Movie Theatres of America:

You're screwing up, and you're killing an institution of the 20th century - a trip to the movies. The experience has gone so far downhill in the past decade that I'd be forced to say things couldn't get any worse if I weren't such an optimist. It's time to make it right. You need to fix the broken experience of going to the movies. Once you do, you may well find your broken bottom line will follow.

To start, don't talk down to us and try to pass the buck. If it's someone else's fault that everything has gone to hell, fine, but you need to show me. Prove to me that the actors' salaries and the movie studios' prices are what's cutting in to my wallet. Make me believe that I -shouldn't- hold you responsible, because right now you are the movie industry to me. As far as I can see, I'm paying for your mistakes, not those of the movie studios and their negotiators. I'm paying more money than ever to see commercials, far too many previews, and much the same movies, in the same theatres, with the same minimum-wage jobs, as I did five and ten years ago.

When you've been in business for a hundred years (Loews) or you own one of the largest theatre chains in the entire world (Loews, Regal, AMC), maybe you might be able to exert a little bit of pressure? Say something like "No, we're not going to screen the sure-to-be-terrible Mission: Impossible 3, unless you lower the cost we're paying". You control the means of distribution - without you, the studio gets exactly zero dollars, so I have a damned hard time believing they've got you quite so much by the balls.

Let's review. In the past five years or so, ticket prices have risen dramatically (10-30% or more). You've begun showing as many as five minutes of commercials before the movie, along with 15 minutes of previews. Your workers aren't earning more. Your customers aren't getting anything extra. You still charge $4.25 for a small popcorn. Is it really so difficult to understand why people pirate movies?

From here on out, you won't force any guilt about stealing movies on me. I shall feel no compunction about downloading. Until I can go to a show that doesn't start 20+ minutes past the listed showtime, until prices come into line with reality, and until you start realizing you're here to serve the customers and not to demand that we not put the goddamned fire safety inspector out of a job, you can all go straight to hell. If I can download a movie and avoid all your bullshit, you damned well better give me a reason not to, or you are obsolete. That reason needs to be better than Ben Affleck telling me its wrong, too. Because you know what's really wrong? Daredevil. And Gigli. And Surviving Chistmas. This is your spokesman? He might just as well get up there and say "Don't pirate my movies, because they're terrible!". That might at least work.

No, you're going to have to do better than that. Don't talk down to me and pass the buck - you are the public face of the movie industry, and we don't like what we see. You want us to correspond with the studios? Sure - give me names, addresses, and once again, numbers to back up my complaint with them. Until then, all I know now is that you're the ones gouging me. Frankly I don't much care why - it just needs to stop.

Absolutely Disgusted,
Paul Kafasis

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Letter To Loews

Loews is everywhere around Boston. In fact just about every theatre near me is a Loews. Recently, I've begun consciously avoiding all of them. Let me tell you why.

First, commercials. A few years back, someone, somewhere decided that on top of previews, you could start sticking commercials in front of movies. It's not just Loews tha does this, I'm aware. That doesn't make it right. Showing commercials before a movie is absolutely unbelievable - what exactly am I paying for? And it's not as if I get a discount for sitting and getting bombarded with Coke and Volvo commercials. If you slashed ticket prices and showed me commercials, that might be one thing. But no, prices continue to rise.

It's gradually gotten worse and worse, to the point of waiting TWENTY THREE minutes after the listed showtime for the actual movie to start. People love previews, but not 15 minutes of them. People hate commercials, especially 8 minutes of them. I've started taking notes on which theatres show commercials (Landmark Theatres still do not) and if they start BEFORE the listed showtime (much less annoying), so I know when to show up.

Second, rewards. AMC Theatres offers me a rewards program - every ticket I buy gets me 2 points, and every 10 points I get something. Free food, a free ticket, etc. It's not much, but it's more than you're giving me. Every 15 tickets i buy, i get one free. Every 15 tickets I buy from you, I get...nothing. Am I missing something? I see that if I lived in Michigan, I'd get a free ticket every 7 times I went - not bad. Now all I need to do is move to Michigan.

Third, student discounts. AMC in New Jersey gives me a student discount, down to $6.50 a ticket (it used to be $5 in about 2000, then $5.50, then $6.00, now $6.50). That's still not cheap, but it's something. In the Boston area, you give me nothing. At $9 or more for a movie, plus commercials, plus no rewards, is it really so difficult to comprehend why more and more people are pirating movies? Instead of insulting those of us who DO pay with pre-show commercials on the evils of pirating (WE just bought tickets, you're yelling at the wrong people), why not give us a break?

I invite a response from you - hopefully, I'm wrong about at least some of these things. Hopefully, there is a rewards program that I missed, but if so, you hid it well. Hopefully you're hesitant to raise ticket prices much more, and will consider discounts. And most importantly, hopefully you'll reconsider this asinine policy of commercials before the show. If you came out publically as THE nation-wide theatre chain that DIDN'T force us to wait until 23 minutes after the listed showtime for the movie to start, I think you might well see more moviegoers headed your way. I know I'd be impressed.

Respectfully, but increasingly disillusioned,
Paul Kafasis

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Loews Response

Thank you for your recent e-mail and for taking the time to share your comments with us concerning on-screen advertising.

I am sorry that you did not enjoy the advertising program that runs on our screens prior to the previews. Nearly all the major exhibition movie chains have been showing them for over two years now. Due to the rising cost of operating our theatres, we have had no alternative other than to enter this commercial avenue or the price of tickets and concessions would have risen further.

One must acknowledge the fact that screen actors are now receiving upwards to twenty million dollar salaries per movie and the films themselves are costing over one hundred million dollars to produce. These astronomical amounts are passed on to the movie exhibition industry in the form of higher percentages of the box office going to the motion picture/distribution companies. Unfortunately, the general public is unaware of these facts and does not correspond with the motion picture companies and distributors to express their opinions.

However, please be assured that we make every possible effort to provide the best customer experience in our theatres. In acknowledgment to concerns such as yours, we do our best to carefully select and limit the number of advertisements that run on our screens, paying extra attention to quality and content. We do not show more than four minutes of commercials. However, the motion picture companies/distributors would like us to show as many trailers to promote their films as possible.

As far as the rewards program, you are correct. We do only have this promotion running in our Michigan based theatres, furthermore, only our Star theatres. Loews Cineplex Entertainment is made up of, Loews, Star, Cineplex Odeon, and Magic Johnson theatres. All of our theatres in Michigan are Star theatres. The Star section of our company is the only region that has a program like this. It is popular in this area and could possibly expand to other regions in the future. You can log onto our official website, "enjoy theshow.com" to check the location status.

For students, Loews accepts an array of passes, certificates and discount coupons. Student Advantage has discount coupons that are accepted at Loews theatres. There are also discount passes that Loews Cineplex sells as well. Details including pricing information can also be obtained on our company website.

I do understand your frustration with these issues and your opinion is very important to us. Therefore, it will be forwarded to the appropriate officers within our organization.

Once again, thank you for contacting us. We truly value your patronage and I hope you will reconsider a visit to a Loews Cineplex Entertainment theatre soon.

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