2/2/2006 Update: Never let it be said that I'm not attentive. It appears that these photos were actually Windows 1.0 promotional shots, as reported by Snopes. That means our musical accompaniment is almost right, and that Teen Beat isn't quite as pathetic as previously believed. For more on Windows 1.0 promotion, see the second to last paragraph on this link.

   Original Article"When I found the first photo below, I posted it as an Absurd Link. Today I learned that there are at least two photos, originally published in a December 1983 Teen Beat spread, to which I simply say "Wow!". I know the 80s were bad, but this was the teen heartthrob of the day? Come on - his first name's not even Corey.

   Anyhow, apparently there are some things even the richest man in the world can't do, such as containing these images. Of course, at this moment he's either having anyone and everyone associated with these images killed, or working on a time machine to kill them before the photos were ever even taken.

   I think the images below require musical accompaniment, and the best suggestion I found was Wham!'s "I'm Your Man", which you should be hearing now. My apologies for embedding audio in a webpage. This is usually about the most annoying thing you can do, but I think it's warranted here. Unfortunately, anachronistically speaking, this song is out of place as it was released three years after this photo shoot. Nevertheless, I can easily picture Bill dancing to this as he posed for these shots, and that's a hilarious little montage. Disgusting, too, but first and foremost it's hilarious.

Click to zoom in on Bill
   

   Other great accompaniment suggestions were Culture Club's "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" (released in 1982) and Mick Jagger's "God Gave Me Everything" (a long 18 years late). Feel free to substitute your own 80s classic in the montage in your mind.