We've got a live one - excellent responses continue to pour on in. I've got three different messages, as well as a fantastic story, so let's get to it.

Item #1
Not fan mail, but an article. And not Harp seals, but sea lions, in this one:

Sea lion grabs Alaska fisherman off boat at dockside (03-11) 12:13 PST ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) -- A 19-year-old fisherman is recovering from an encounter with a sea lion that leaped out of the water, grabbed him as he worked on his grandfather's docked boat and pulled him into the harbor at King Cove in the Aleutian Islands.

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Could this be a chilling portent of things to come? A show of support by a friendly cousin? Have we pissed off The Family?

Letter #1
Mart Kuhn writes, in a message titled "You Inhuman Monster":

Paul --

I am a college student who recently came across your article on baby harp seals, after it gained a lot of publicity and became notorious throughout the animal rights community. I would have emailed you about it sooner, but I was too busy with my studies and could not afford to spend the time to write you the kind of message that you are in dire need of receiving.

You, sir, are nothing more than an elitist coward. Your baby harp seal article belies an inherent insensitivity to the plight of beings less fortunate than yourself. Do you not comprehend the magnitude of unnecessary, avoidable suffering that would be inflicted upon the world if people began shooting harp seals, particularly babies of the species, with Mac-10 automatic weapons?

Perhaps you are unaware of the vital importance of harp seal pelts for the livelihood of hunters throughout the Arctic. Harp seals are among the most commercially valuable inhabitants of the polar regions, and their importance arises primarily from the value of their pelts. Their pristine, _whole_ pelts, I might add. There is a reason that harp seals are typically clubbed to death! Blunt trauma leaves the pelt of a seal intact, allowing the corpse to be skinned and the skin to be sold for a profit, putting food on the hunter's table. A magazine of 9mm bullets from a Mac-10, on the other hand, would yield a pelt that was completely ruined.

Won't you please think of the hunters, and stop encouraging the use of submachine guns against harp seals?

~Mart Kuhn

Mart's right - what was I thinking? I didn't stop to think that a few simple words might have the possibility of affecting an entire industry, but the livelihoods of hundreds of people are at stake. If people start shooting, an entire industry could go bust. I must again urge all my readers not to shoot seals.

Letter #2
Josh Halpern writes, in a letter titled "your cause is just, your actions...just dumb":

president bush SUX. he totally iz dumb and has done crappy stuff to the county. i HATE him! so, what we should do iz DESTROY every single kind of BUSH! for real! shrubs, hedges, gwen stefani's boyfriend's band, pubic hair, destroy destroy destory! that'll show him!

actually, i've though about it for a second, and i'd like to say that that last paragraph wuz totalyl dizgusting and terrible and whoever wrote it should be killed.

wait, not killed, just, uh....wait...um......shit i'm confuzzed.

listen, the world is terrible. freedom of expression allows for at least the possibility of affecting change, and humor and satire are critical components of representation art and discourse. if you want to change something, be real about it.

~ joshua "baby harp deez!" halpern

I like that title very much. Thanks Josh! Some people need to EAD.

Letter #3
Letter #3 is the much-anticipated response from the Harp seal community! This message is actually a video clip, delivered to me by middleman/friend Chris DiNoia. You can view the video, and I've also included a transcript - the unidentified ambassador seal has something of a Scottish accent, I'm not sure why.:

Click Here To View The Video

Transcript:
Hello Paul. As you can tell, I am a baby harp seal. In fact, I am the seal that was featured in your article. Since you opened the discussion for responses from seals I figured I would send you this video. As a representative of the Harp seal community, I would just like to say that everyone finds your joke...very amusing. We had a great laugh about it last night while we were eating our daily hunt of human heads. Hopefully, now that you have the approval of the harp seals, you can continue to post about us.

As always, keep emailing me, and I will keep posting your emails and making fun of your spelling, punctuation, grammar, as well as your apparent excess of free time. And don't worry, there's no need to point out how much of my own time I'm wasting on this. I'm willing to spend that time for the common good and certainly everyone will agree that this has helped many, many people.