Welcome to the fourth installment of P-Bones' Rules of Life! You thought you could escape the rules and ideas by which I live My life. But no! One day, these will be the fundamental tenets of My new religion. All will worship at the altar of P-Bones! Until then, I shall be blessing you with a preview of My rules every Tuesday.

And on the fourteenth of January in the year Two Thousand Three, P-Bones said unto them...

31) Contrary to popular belief, construction workers DON'T get all the women, even what with all the wolf-whistling.
32) "Rover" is not a name for a pet wooly mammoth.
33) It's better to have magical powers than a fucking snorkle on your head.
34) Some things do in fact say Christmas like gym socks say Christmas.
35) In addition, Animal Fables in Iambic verse don't say Christmas at all, in any language.
36) Framing an orphan for your crimes is extremely naughty.
37) A bird in the hand can get very messy.
38) Take goats, for example.
39) Ping Pong Balls can be tricky like that, so watch out.
40) When someone accepts your plans to axe-murder him or her, it's time to get off the damn phone.

...And it was good.

   Join Me next week to hear My newest prophecies. Unless I get lazy. And now, go forth and spread the word! Spread it!