Welcome to the fifth and final installment of P-Bones' Rules of Life! This final list surely represents the most important rules and ideas by which I live My life. These have been the fundamental tenets of My new religion, a religion I now challenge you to create. All will worship at the altar of P-Bones!

And on the twenty-eighth of January in the year Two Thousand Three, P-Bones said unto them...

41) Everything you read is a goddamned lie.
42) Just say her name, dammit!
43) You can't give a person penguins and then expect them to not be grateful.
44) It's tough to be sneaky with Tic-Tacs.
45) Mac is not the cheese.
46) Morgan Fairchild must be stopped!.
47) Don't grocery shop when you're hungry. You'll wind up with 9 boxes of fruit rollups and a 3 gallon jug of Juicy-Juice.
48) The Amish use cellphones. Who knew?
49) "Dangling Modifier" doesn't mean what you think it means.
50) This bit may never have been funny, but even if it was, it's past its prime now.

...And it was good.

   And now you have seen Me in all My splendor, and you have seen that I am all that is good in this world. Go forth and spread My word, for it is law. Spread it!