Welcome to PBones' Rules of Life! I've got a list of rules and ideas by which I live My life and I've taken to writing them down. One day, these will be the fundamental tenets of My new religion. All will worship at the altar of PBones! Until then, I shall be blessing you with a preview of My rules every Tuesday.

And on the third of December in the year Two Thousand Two, PBones said unto them...

1) You can't put nipples on just anything, and call it breasts.
2) Don't lick just any scissors.
3) Pay no attention to the sex going on behind you.
4) Don't try to fuck the giant walking broccolli.
5) Don't rob a bank for anyone but yourself.
6) If you need to lose a few pounds, remember that the human body can survive with just one kidney.
7) Always blame the mimes...they won't talk.
8) Non-dairy creamer is actually kept in the Dairy Department at your local grocer.
9) When you first meet a girl, always ask her if she's a mermaid. It never hurts to check.
10) Spandex of a size larger than "Medium" should not be sold or worn.

...And it was good.

   Join Me next week to hear My newest prophecies. And now, go forth and spread the word!