As some of you may know, in the past 5 years, I've created 3 different companies and worked in some capacity on a half-dozen or more software products. I've never been quite sure why I do it. I find it interesting, to be sure, but I could be doing anything: why this? But every once in a while, I'm given a reminder of why I do it. This is what makes it all worth it: The hours of coding, writing, product design, implementation, bug tracking, beta testing, supporting customers: everything. When this sort of thing happens, I just sit back and nod, thinking "This is why we do it".

It began when we received an email from our LSNRT (Lost Serial Number Recovery Tool™). This is designed to allow registered users to recover lost serial numbers:
ID: Serial Number Recovery

Date: 1039568643
IP: 24.84.0.75
Name: Andrew Coelho
Email: abcoelho@sfu.ca
Excuse: My dog ate it
Product: Audio Hijack

With no relevant matches, I double checked to make sure we hadn't missed something, but it appeared this user was attempting to weasel a code out of us. To make sure, I sent the following response.

Could you kindly give us a rough estimate of when you purchased Audio Hijack? I assume it must have been before September 15th, as our records only date back that far, and we have no record of your purchase. If it was in fact before the 15th, we'll get that code right out to you.

Let me know, and we'll try to get this taken care of for you.

-Paul
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The following reply came back:

Hello and thank you for your prompt response,

I believe (I'm trying to recall now) that I purchased my copy sometime towards the end of Summer. It could have been early September, I'm not sure...

Andrew
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Keep in mind that Audio Hijack only went on sale Sept. 30th. I sent the following pissed off response, because he was trying to screw us out of $16 and he took us for complete idiots.

Andrew,

That's interesting, because Audio Hijack has only been for sale since September 30th. In fact, it was only released September 30th, 2002. You couldn't possibly have bought Audio Hijack in the summer, or even early September. Which can only mean that you're attempting to cheat us.

Is it really worth $16 to lie this way? Is attempting to cheat a small shareware company out of $16 measly bucks really worth it? And did you really think we'd be dumb enough to just put up a tool that would make it so easy for people such as yourself to try and fool us into giving you a registration code? Get a life. Better yet, get a job, and pay for your shareware. If you don't support it, it won't be around much longer.

Good day.

-Paul
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I figured that'd be the end of it. I know I'd feel at least enough shame to end it there, if I were on the receiving end of that email. But no, he replied back, and this is the kicker:

Well thank you Paul,

I appreciate your honesty, but I think you're missing a very important point, one that you and your community college diploma should take back to the drawing board. Try writing in a patch that prohibits me from just reinstalling your program after the expiry date. Thats all I'm going to do. I suggest you get a little more power in your life son, because writing a "bait" email and then coming back with the horseshit below is a little indicative of a lack of potency in a few areas of life. Thats ok though, I bet your little heart got pumping away and you just couldn't stop..."I've finally caught someone..." How many mp3's do you have asshole...

Also, your logic is interesting. Why should I pay $16 for a program designed to steal audio...and don't give me that shit about time-shifting and the 1984 supreme court ruling...

Andrew
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Apparently, I:

• ...graduated from community college, which I assume is meant to be insulting (As opposed to attending the world-renowned "Simon Fraser University").
• ...should "take his point back to the drawing board"...?
• ...should protect our software better (Maybe we need to jerk-proof it?)
• ...must be a power-hungry, potentially impotent (I'm not sure if that's the implication) loser who gets his kicks tricking assholes who try to steal from him.
• ...am just as bad as he is because surely I must have an enormous collection of stolen/illegal MP3s. (For the record, I have 14+ days worth of MP3 music, almost all of which was ripped from my 500+ disc CD collection. I've also purchased MP3s from emusic.com and continue to buy about 10 cds a month).
• ...should reconsider my logic that stealing is wrong, because he plans to use the program in a method which may be illegal.
• ...shouldn't attempt to use facts and legal precedants to back up the legality of our software, because those are "shit".

Yup, this is why we do it. For assholes like this...